Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash
One of my goals last year was to meet 5 new people every week (=obligation of results). Committing to this goal was unpleasant. Until I had achieved it, I would have it in the background of my thoughts, always wondering what else I should do.
On the other hand, I wanted to connect deeper to my emotions. I knew practicing meditation was driving me to this goal, so I just committed to do 15 minutes of it every day (=obligation of means). It was much more pleasant. I liked the practice and had nothing to worry about anything else. It was also much more efficient. As part of my new routine, it became automatic and I almost never missed it.
I struggled with my 5-new-people-a-week objective until I realized I only needed to call 5 friends about the end of the week. Usually I got invited in advance, with groups of people I knew. By calling last minute, I got invited to diners I was not planned into and met new people.
As it worked for several weeks in a row, I knew I could safely turn this results objective (meeting 5 new people) into a means objective (call 5 friends at the end of the week) and get the resulting comfort and efficiency. The key element to turn a result obligation into a mean obligation was to be confident that following the mean would lead me to the expected result.
Later, I realized I could just book some time in my routine for any new project. Depending on the complexity, importance and urgency I would adjust the time slot. I would eventually figure out what to do to get the expected results. This way, I could turn any results objective into a means objective since day one.
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